First dates are always nerve-wracking, for men and for women. It’s likely that you’ll only have this one chance to make a good impression. Conversation is going to be a big part of deciding if you two will move on together or never see each other again. Here are five things that women should absolutely not say to men on dates:
“Shut Up, I Do Not”
You spend a lot of time getting ready for a date, and you try to look your best. Even still, you have this horrible opinion of yourself. You hate the way you look. But for some reason your date says that you look great. What do you do next? Do you thank him or do you tell him he doesn’t know what he’s talking about? It may come as a surprise, but he is probably not lying and he really does think you look beautiful. There is no reason to throw it back in his face. It reveals your insecurities, and looks unattractive.
“You Know Who You Remind Me Of?“
A man likes to think of himself as the most special and unique creature on the planet: undermining that idea in the anxious setting of a date can be disastrous. If he reminds you a lot of some other guy at work, make a mental note of it, don’t say it out loud. Comparing your date will immediately make him feel like he has competition, or that he can’t measure up. Worse still is comparing your date to an ex-boyfriend. Even if you’re not hung up on your ex, talking about him is going to give the guy you are actually on a date with the impression that you’d rather be with somebody else. Expect to never hear from him again.
“Men Are Jerks”
You’ve been dating for a while, so of course you have lots of opinions about men. But if you diss the entire male sex on a date and say “All men are dogs,” remember that your date is one of those dogs too. And that what you’re saying is probably insulting. Besides, if you have so many bad things to say about men, it will make you look like you are harboring real hurt feeling, and a first date is too early in a relationship to explore issues like that. Save the trash talk for your friends.
“Me, me, me”
Let’s face it, you probably have more interesting things to say than he does, but you don’t have to make him feel as if you don’t care about what he has to say. Sometimes nervousness can make you overly talkative, but try not to let that happen. Listening is an important skill—it’s something you want in a partner too. Don’t jump on top of his unfinished sentences, and give him time to come up with something to say. Remember, he’s also nervous, and might be keeping quiet until he feels more comfortable.