Want to Fall in Love? Here’s How

Lovers Together

There are probably an endless amount of arguments for being in a loving, meaningful relationship. We crave it. Scientific research even shows us that it is beneficial for our health and well-being.

Is love eluding you? Are you lost in the landscape of online dating and looking for love through applications? Research conducted by Arthur Aron has some pretty compelling conclusions in terms of how to attain intimate relationships with others. Aron’s study paired strangers and required them to take turns answering 36 questions that required the revealing of increasingly personal, intimate information and honesty. Questions like “share a personal problem and ask your partner’s advice on how he/she might handle it.” The study showed that, after the 45-minute exercise, participants felt significantly closer to their partners. In fact, they rated this new, casual relationship very closely to the average relationship in their lives!

How can you apply this technique and its findings to your own pursuit of love?

Get personal

The key to the fast feeling of intimacy in the study was not the activity of asking questions, but rather the disclosure of personal information. So, if you want to take a particular relationship to the next level, start to share and be willing to feel a bit vulnerable.

Reciprocity

It takes two to tango. Any relationship is a two-way street, with both parties involved in a give-and-take, much like a dynamic conversation in which two people are both sharing and learning about one another.

When two extroverts were paired with one another in the study, they became more intimate. However, when two introverts were paired, they experienced less successful results. Because naturally shy individuals have a harder time interacting with others, it was an actual directive to share which was required in order for them to improve performance. After the structure was imposed, though, they were empowered to better enjoy talking about intimate subjects.
In summary, the sharing of intimate and meaningful information from one’s self is a key step in building a loving connection and demonstrating vulnerability and trust.